Long ago on a dark night while at an overnight retreat at a camp near Ligonier, Pennsylvania I had a close encounter with the Personal Christ Crowd. I was in the 9th grade and had recently joined my parent's church.
As I prepared to get some sleep the adult supervisor in the tent said to me, "You know when you were before the Session to join the church you were asked if you accepted Jesus as your Savior. You said yes, but we know that you didn't really mean it."
Gulp, these guys can read minds. What does he mean I didn't mean it?
He went on, "I was sitting in a barber chair once and the barber was shaving my neck. He put the razor to the front of my neck and asked me if I had accepted Jesus and that he wouldn't rest until I did. That," the man continued, "was the most important day in my life and I am going to give you the same chance tonight. You will not sleep until you have accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour."
He was actually serious and I was truly scared, How would he know and what the hell does it mean to accept this Jesus. I must be kind of dumb because I just don't know how one communicates this sort of thing to God Almighty and I was not and still am not sure that such requests are even valid when made under duress. Heck I am not sure how one forms the relationship with another human. It takes time, it takes talking, trusting. You don't just walk up to someone and say "Hi, I am going to be your friend." But the Jesus people seem to do just that. Good for them.
I argued and eventually acquiesced, what else could I do, I wanted to get some sleep. The man seemed happy and I avoided him from then on as I tended to avoid all authority figures in that church. They were wacko's, I thought. Turns out that they were not alone. Our world is full of people who have these daily conversations with God and have Jesus as their best buddy. It must be nice but try as I might, I have never gotten my head around that particular nonsense.
When I accepted the Church etc. it was more out of the spirit that of which I thought Jesus might approve. "What does the LORD require of you but to do Justice, love Mercy and walk humbly with your God?" No equality there, even the humble walk for me has always been at a distance. God is after all the unknowable, all knowing one and it scares the Hell out of me to get close to that sort of power. It is just who I am. But evidentally doing God's will according to Scriptures is not enough and I have to have an imaginary playmate, No thanks. It didn't work that night, and it won''t work today.
No, my God is personal, but he sure isn't my buddy, friend.
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