Bullies Never Need to Apologize

In business one is confronted with upset clients all the time. The most disarming and effective words to use are "I'm sorry, what can I do?" Even if we don't fully believe that we are wrong, acknowledging the hurt goes a long way to resolving the problem. It is good business. It is also good manners.

So why is it that some, many, Republicans are hung up on apologies? I always felt like the U.S. acted like a global bully in the build up to the Iraq war. Never apologizing for lies and misstatements, never acknowledging differences of opinion, our course was to kick butt and see our way clear. It didn't seem to get us very far in  the world at large. America was viewed as a Cowboy Country, shooting first asking questions later, if ever. We were increasingly alone. Our supporters all felt pressure at home. President Obama was greeted warmly by the world community not because he apologized for everything or was ashamed or his country, but because he understands that America is not a nation of bullies, but a partner on the world stage, because he understands that our goals are better met in cooperation, that our security is met when we disarm anger rather than encourage it.

It is one thing to believe that you are the best, it is quite another to shove that idea down the throats of others. As a child I was taught that behavior like that was reprehensible, that apologies were the way that society smoothed out differences and that fighting was a last resort. Of course I was also told that Democrats started wars. Things change, but does that change bring any good? Republicans have been in charge for our last three major military excursions and a case can be made that Dwight D. Eisenhower got us fully involved in Viet Nam.

America, Mitt Romney would say is the tough guy on the block and if I understand right no need to apologize even when we offend. I'm sorry, I may be old fashioned, but that just isn't going to work so well.

Embassy attacks a tale of two leaders

It will certainly come as no surprise when we discover that the attacks on the US embassy in Cairo and later in Libya were timed to celebrate 9/11. It certainly came as no surprise that Mitt Romney has criticized the reasoned response by the Obama administration. Does Mr. Romney not know that one does not throw gasoline on fires? In the midst of an attack one does not egg on the attackers unless one is really in a position to use force to repel the assault. As cool as it would be in a movie sending in a fleet of  helicopter gunships to cut down the rioters, in real life that would constitute an act of war. In real time the statement that Mr. Romney condemns over and over was a reasoned response intended to sooth tensions as the crowd was in the initial stages of assault, before any actual breach. To call the mob out for a fight would be wrong, to say, let us reason together is the peaceful and dignified approach.

I have hears these strident calls to never apologize never back down before, they always lead to fights even when fights could be avoided. Sometimes it is time to listen to your mother's voice and find a way out. Sometimes what we really need to hear in a stressful situation is a well placed, "I'm sorry, I think there has been a misunderstanding."

An Embassy is a fragile thing, sitting as sovereign ground on foreign territory, armed only with a minimum of troops. Embassies rely on their host governments for protection and security. This case is even more than usually sensitive as we are trying to work with newly established governments in both Egypt and Libya. Diplomacy is a tough game and the Romney Campaign has not shown itself particularly adept at the fine art. It has increasingly found itself stirring the pot.

At the same time that this drama has been playing on the world's news outlets, Mr. Romney's good friend Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel has been sounding the alarm on Iran, requesting "red lines" be set against Iran - lines past which military action will inevitably happen. Make no mistake, such lines in the sand are dangerous brinksmanship and are, like defiance to the mobs in Cairo and Bengazhi, a sure way to bring on more trouble. In criticizing the administration response, Mr. Romney may well make his right wing supporters happy, but he loses sight of the need to America to live side by side with other nations in an increasingly hostile world.The only reasoned response to such activity is to call for calm, and seek to restore order. It is only after that that we can determine whether or not our missions to those countries can continue or if we wish to isolate ourselves by withdrawing from the world at large.