It really is all about the bathroom

I was listening to a review of movie trend at the website afterellen.com recently. The reviewers were disturbed with what they saw as an odd trend in lesbian movies, the bathroom encounter. We have all seen these scenes, usually some variation of two women at a bar/restaurant fall in lust, one goes to the lady's, the other follows and mad passionate sex occurs. The women who were commenting couldn't figure out from where this behavior was coming. The answer is, as usual, very simple - men write this stuff. What is not so obvious is why would men write this stuff.

Now I cannot speak with much certainty about the rituals and activities in the women's bath or locker rooms. The last such contact that I had was years ago and led as a matter of course to the terrible life shaping incident which is the topic of today's blog.

It was summer and my mother had taken my sister's and I to the swimming pool. (South Park near Pittsburgh, PA if it matters) It was probably a week day, my father was not there. We all went to the women's locker room. I was young, how young I can't really remember but probably 5 if we were in Pittsburgh, but evidentally is was not young enough. A bit of a controversy brewed and I have the distinct impression that it was the opinion of at least some that I was too old to be in the dressing room, with my mother or not. This was my last opportunity to witness the rituals and alas I wasn't that much too old, sorry guys, no details.

At the end of our swimming session my mother sent me to the men's locker room and told me that she would meet me at the other entrance. Alone, I ventured forth. The first obstacle was a large room with showerheads everywhere. Were I older and more sophisticated, my fantasies of being thrown into such a room may have led me to retreat immediately in fear for my life, but I ventured on, alone, afraid, but sure that the only way back to the safety of my mother's arms lay in the maze of dark green lockers that lay ahead. So I passed, equipped for protection with nothing but a towel, through the rooms of shower heads past what I can now, in the comfort of these many years, easily recognize as the toilet facility with it's imposing trough- what happens there I would ask myself - and into the empty and vast locker room. How I ever navigated that dank smelling, dangerous and absolutely deserted of any human being, only ogres and demons could be there, place I will never know, but at the end I must have survived with this truth firmly imbedded in my consciousness - The men's room is a dark dangerous place, if you must enter go in quickly and get the hell out!

Later I would learn the rules: "don't peek""do your business and get out" "don't shake it to much" "no eye contact" "don't talk -don't talk to anyone." This later of course is controversial - there are some men who talk a lot, in the men's room, and it is scary talk - more of that later.

But to return to the topic of sex in the bathroom - yes ladies it is reported to happen and men seem to do a lot of it. Most of us are too damn afraid of it happening to us to notice, but the reports are out there. So it only seems right in the male mind, if it happens to us . . .